Saturday, April 11, 2009
Strange
What is it that connects us to other people? You may meet someone and a bond is formed, with no confirmation on either end. It's just there. There's no agreement that you will become important to one another, it's just understood and accepted without question. With some people, it's instant. With others, it may not happen at all. What discriminates who will be admitted into your life? It seems to me that it is so often wrong. Half of the people it lets into your heart end up hurting you in some way. It may not be love in the strongest sense of the word, but that feeling is present. And when someone you care about leaves, a little part of you shrivels away. Why do we care about people? Not exactly love, but feel strongly about. The people who you least expect to have an impact on you do, and you can't help but wonder why you are drawn to them. There doesnt seem to be any correlation between the types of people that you care about. They have just touched you in some way that one finds it impossible to explain. Why do we worry for them? Even when they tell me not to, or that everything is alright, I cant rid myself of the feeling of dread, of worry, of love. It's as if they are a part of me that I can't bear to loose. I stress myself out over them and lie awake at night thinking about them and hoping that everything is truely okay. All this worry takes a toll that most people can't see. It drains someone to the point where they have no energy left for themselves. And what do they get back for it? Nothing.
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I've often asked myself this very sting of questions. How does our mind and heart decide who to latch onto and use for support? I find its much like climbing a mountain. While climbing you can look for holds with you hands, but your feet must find it by feel and chance. Its much the same, your hands are like your brain and your feet are like your heart, you can see someone that may be able to elevate your status and become their friend for this selfish purpose, much like in politics. Or you also have the more common situation where you use a hold that you feel is good. When you actually put weight onto it though is when you discover whether it is a strong hold or not, whether or not they are a good person to hold onto or not. Its often not even a conscious decision, we just find ourselves drawn towards people sometimes even without any reason. All we can do is hope that we can rely on the people our heart tells us are good people.
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