Curious...

How most all of my poems are based upon love or sadness. Even stranger is the fact that I can't normally write unless I'm feeling one of those two emotions. Hmmmmm...

What I can't tell you

Cold, sitting in a dark room.
Can't anyone see,
That little girl,
With her knees up and
Tears streaming in a darkened room

Everyone passes,
No one can see.
The little girl sits waiting
For the one chance at freedom
Release from this pressure

She sinks,
No one to listen,
No one to hear,
Her crying in that dark room

Do you realize

Hearing your voice.
It's like birds singing.
My heart
It melts
Longing to hear one more word.
Do you realize?

Realize how much I like you?
Realize that this is new for me too?
Do you know I make mistakes
And that I don't realize I do?
Do you realize?

I see you
In pictures,
And long to see you
face-to-face.
It breaks my heart
How busy we both are,
But
Do you realize?

Have I made myself clear?
Do I need to repeat?
I don't know how to put it
And I wish I did,
But
Do You Realize?

The sparkle in my eye.
I haven't seen the light is so long.
Yet you come and I see!
I truely see!
Do You Realize?

Now I wonder,
Do You see?
My feelings are open.
You hurt
I hurt.
You laugh,
I laugh.
Do You Realize?!

Gone

There are some things you can’t associate with words
They are just,
Indescribable
Like the way I feel
It’s not just one thing
It’s a combination
An endless struggle within myself
Unmentionable feelings that eat away at me
Leaving only a hollow shell
Memories that best be forgotten
Resurface and scar
They drain me until nothing’s left
Forever rotting
As if life itself was tormenting me
But nothing can be done
It just builds and builds
The intolerable pain,
The pain of loss,
The loss of love,
The love of none
Moments of happiness come and go
But never stay for long
They disappear just as suddenly as they come
Nothing is constant
Only turmoil resides
I feel weak
I feel old
I feel empty
Looking back only makes it harder to go forward
The warmth is gone
Sleepless nights leave me cold and alone
I feel as if impending disaster is near
So close
But biding its time for the grand finale
Waiting for the perfect moment to strike
The moment to ruin my life
And yet make it perfect
I am scared yet anxious
Relieved for the end
But pained to watch it go
But the relief of being free is overpowering
The need to leave all the
Anger
Sadness
Disappointment
Heartbreak
Longing
Regret
Shame
Incompetence
Foolishness
And pressure
Behind

Strange

What is it that connects us to other people? You may meet someone and a bond is formed, with no confirmation on either end. It's just there. There's no agreement that you will become important to one another, it's just understood and accepted without question. With some people, it's instant. With others, it may not happen at all. What discriminates who will be admitted into your life? It seems to me that it is so often wrong. Half of the people it lets into your heart end up hurting you in some way. It may not be love in the strongest sense of the word, but that feeling is present. And when someone you care about leaves, a little part of you shrivels away. Why do we care about people? Not exactly love, but feel strongly about. The people who you least expect to have an impact on you do, and you can't help but wonder why you are drawn to them. There doesnt seem to be any correlation between the types of people that you care about. They have just touched you in some way that one finds it impossible to explain. Why do we worry for them? Even when they tell me not to, or that everything is alright, I cant rid myself of the feeling of dread, of worry, of love. It's as if they are a part of me that I can't bear to loose. I stress myself out over them and lie awake at night thinking about them and hoping that everything is truely okay. All this worry takes a toll that most people can't see. It drains someone to the point where they have no energy left for themselves. And what do they get back for it? Nothing.